20 Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Humans
First things first: We have no problem with humans. Generally speaking, Homo sapiens are perfectly acceptable animals – in fact, many of you are downright delightful.
But can we mere mortals compete with dogs? Of course not. Endlessly loyal, impossibly adorable, and famously sweet, man’s best friend is, well, the best. We’re not here to rub it in, simply to celebrate the majesty of our four-legged friends.
Why are dogs better than humans? The reasons are endless, but here are 20 that make us especially grateful to share our lives with our canine companions.
Dogs are always happy to see you.
Returning home after a weekend getaway? “OH MY GOODNESS YOU’RE HOME!” Returning home after a 10-minute errand? “OH MY GOODNESS YOU’RE HOME!” We definitely don’t get that same reaction from our significant others, our family members, or friends. Just saying.
They’re the world’s least picky eaters.
Nothing makes you appreciate a dog’s undiscerning palate like serving lunch to a toddler. Dogs have never made us carve grilled cheese sandwiches into dinosaurs, or demanded that chicken nuggets act out scenes from “Frozen” – and for that, we love them.
Dogs always know just what to say.
Technically, dogs can’t talk. But even so, they always seem to have the right “words” after a long day. In fact, studies have shown that dogs can evaluate human emotions, and they even attempt to comfort us when we’re distressed. Say it with us: WE’RE NOT WORTHY.
They’re delightful on social media.
There’s no cringe-worthy content, humble-brag posts, or thirst-trap selfies here. As Kings of the Internet, dogs understand exactly what the modern world needs: derp faces, puppy stretches, and head tilts.
Dogs don’t charge for therapy sessions.
We’d pay good money for their wise insights and unparalleled listening skills. But thankfully, dogs work pro-bono, and they’re always accepting new clients.
They’re the first to forgive and forget.
To know a shelter dog is to truly know the meaning of forgiveness, faith, and fortitude. While we humans can have a hard time moving forward, dogs live in the moment – and are always ready to make more moments with the ones they love.
They don’t question your Netflix picks.
Go ahead, rewatch every single season of “The Great British Baking Show.” Your dog thinks it’s a great idea (as long as you share your lap).
They never cancel plans (or care when you cancel).
If you have a happy hour date with your pup, you know he’ll be there with a big goofy grin on his face. Change of plans? No problem – he totally gets it.
Dogs never run political ads.
…Although maybe they should. Dogs have our vote, each and every time.
They’ll never try to sell you skincare products.
…Or essential oils, or leggings, or supplements. Unlike your high school classmates, dogs will never slide into your DMs with “business opportunities.” (Although honestly, we’d allow it – hit us up, #bosspups!)
They can keep a secret.
Ever notice how it’s never the dog who sells their story to the tabloids? When you can’t trust your nanny or your trainer or your dog walker, you can always trust your dog.
They’re the very definition of “loyal.”
Go ahead, look it up in the dictionary. Right next to “loyal,” there’s a picture of your dog patiently waiting by the door.
Three words: puppy dog eyes.
Don’t even bother trying to resist – we’re scientifically smitten with “puppy dog eyes.” Research has shown that over time, dogs actually developed a muscle above their eyes to better communicate with humans. Swoon!
Two words: nose boops.
We don’t need scientists to tell us that nose boops are the best. You get a boop, you get a boop, you get a boop – everyone gets a boop!
They love your Sunday sweatpants.
Not the cute leggings, or the trendy joggers – the old, threadbare sweatpants with the ripped pocket. As long as you’re wearing it, your dog thinks it looks amazing.
Dogs are the perfect coworkers.
They never reply-all to emails, they never microwave fish, they never share vacation photos. If you’ve ever worked in a dog-friendly office, you know four-legged coworkers are far superior to humans.
They’re all-star workout buddies.
Whether you’re jogging, hiking, or down-dogging, pups are always up for a fun workout. Need a recovery day? They’re totally not judging if you decide to snuggle up on the couch instead (unlike your gym friends).
They wear their hearts on their sleeves.
With dogs, there are no egos, no mind games, no “playing it cool.” Dogs live their truth: They love us, and they’re not afraid to show it.
They don’t leave voicemails.
Even if dogs could leave long, rambling voicemails, they wouldn’t. They would send a concise and polite text, because it’s the 21st century and they’re civilized animals.
Dogs appreciate the little things.
When was the last time you saw a human get excited over an old tennis ball? Or an ear scratch? Or a random piece of sidewalk pizza? Dogs innately understand what it takes most humans an entire lifetime to discover – it’s the little things that bring the greatest joy. Thanks for the reminder, Good Boys.